A Swirl in my Art

Every time I feel tense, annoyed, furious and rage, I just stop holding a pencil. Those kinds of feelings are the usual things that caused me to stop drawing. Sometimes, I just sit on my chair and stare at the blank paper, because of all of this rage inside of me may tear it. I don’t work with that kind of feelings, maybe I do (sometimes rage can bring my instinct to a higher level) but most of time it doesn’t work. But something change my mind lately. Instead of holding a pencil when I’m mad, I hold a brush. A wet brush and colourful palette are like my medicine to calm myself down. The colours aren’t predictable, the heart wants what the heart wants. Sometimes it’s only black and blue, if I’m sad. It depends on my state of heart. That’s why sometimes I can’t lie, and can’t talk about what I’m actually feel inside. The paints sometimes speak for me. The colours speak for me.

We’re humans, we fear imperfection, crave for perfection. But sometimes, perfection or the thought of being such a perfect being scares us. Well, I have to admit, my artworks aren’t perfect. Some people say that “That is totally wrong”, when I say that to the deviantart friends, they just said “There are no wrongs in art, artist express what they feel, and some imperfection causing that perfection itself” I just realized that a while ago. Sometimes, getting something right can be such a relief, but sometimes It scares me a bit. I don’t know why, though, perfection makes things a little bit intense.

When I asked myself: “What if I see an imperfection in my artworks?” Answer: It’s usual to have that kind of question. Well, if I see one, I’m just trying to let it go, if I can mend it, then I mend it.  Those kinds of imperfection that I saw in my artworks sometimes kinda funny, but aren’t fixable. Still, imperfections are just signs that give you a thought, and make you realize that you got something to improve on. I like that thought. Maybe you’ll find perfection inside an imperfection, who knows?

Feeling Blue. This is just one of that sad moments, whether I feel lonely, invisible, or basically anything that can make me crying. These feelings, usually, almost every time, I expressed in my art. My style for “feeling blue” is realistic. It’s the opposite of “feeling yellow” . I don’t know why I used a realistic style. Maybe I’m just thinking that the real life is more sad than the fantasies I have.  And If i use realism (realistic style) you just get that feel of atmosphere (sad atmosphere) easier than if I use anime/manga. Realistic are just those styles that are really strong and powerful, but it can show a vulnerability (not a minus or a disability) of a picture.

Feeling Yellow. These feelings are the opposite of “feeling blue” Happiness is one of these feelings. I interpret this feeling with yellow colours. My imagination usually just takes off, and speaks. This kind of feelings causes me to be hyper or maybe just have a high imagination. It’s more fun when you imagine something, than actually going through it. I use manga/ anime/ cartoons/not realistic style on this kind of artworks. If use realistic, you won’t get that imaginary, fluffy, fuzzy, fun, cheerful feel. The atmosphere I try to give to this kind of art is usually a warm atmosphere (it’s just make people feel welcome, right?)

So these things cause a swirl in my art works. What’s yours?

- Keshia